Dementia Slowly Forgetting

This is a subject so close to my heart, I could have never imagined before. It always was just a word, a word that frightens most of us. Because Dementia gets a person from deep inside, from their personality.

Because we are frightened of it we should research about it even more. There is no cure yet but with medication and loving care we can help to stop the progress a bit. This means that the patient can may be win another year with more clear thoughts and lots of moments of quality of life with loved ones.

Yes it’s my mother who has slight dementia. My mother lived the past 30 years with enormous pain due to osteoporosis. I can’t even count anymore how many bones she had broken over the years. I just know that she was always very brave withstanding the pain and hoping that in 6 weeks time the bone had healed again. But now dementia slowly forgetting the near past is making her remembering the past long ago. But those years were filled with wars, hunger, loss and many more inconceivable experiences. To a stranger it sounds like hallucinations but to a caring ear these are memories from the past, the long past, over 70 years ago.

What do we know about Dementia?

Dementia is not a normal process of getting older. Dementia is an illness. An illness that can come with age and effects people from 65+ but older people between 80 and 90 are affected more. Alzheimers is one form of Dementia. Not Every dementia is Alzheimer disease but every Alzheimer disease is dementia.

Dementia patients losing over time the ability to learn or to use what they have learned before. This is one of the reasons we should never be reproachful or censorious with someone that has dementia. While children have the ability to learn what is right & wrong, a person with dementia doesn’t know that anymore. This also means that we should never feel threatened by sudden outbursts or unexplained reactions.

Dementia patients do sometimes themselves feel they should know something but they can’t recall it. This generates anxiety and anger with themselves and people around them. It is also the reason why at the beginning of dementia people try to hide the illness and develop strategies to cover up that they had forgotten something.

How does Dementia develop?

At the start a person with dementia might just forget a few things. The short term memory is affected. Someone who liked to read might stop because he can’t make sense of it anymore or has after one page forgotten what the book was about. At a later stage the long term memory will be effected and the patient loses eventually his history. Remaining are memories from the youth or childhood. Researchers think that the patient might see himself to be that age and that is why he not remembers his loved ones because they look so much older and can’t be related to him. This way the patient is loosing more and more the orientation. This phase in the life of a person with dementia is extremely difficult for relatives.

Eventually dementia patient might lose the understanding of where they are and what time it is. It gets more and more difficult to manage in their own environment. More complicated movements become impossible. Neurologist call this apraxia. Dementia patients at that stage might not just need care but also supervision.

Even so my mum has slight dementia at the moment she was trying to get up and fell. She broke her hip and was rushed to hospital. All these years we always hoped she would never break her hip. With severe osteoporosis you can break a bone just coughing. She is 88 years of age now and got a new hip. We so hope she makes a good recovery.

What is the cause of Dementia?

We can see that with progressive dementia the behaviour of the patient can change. Some become restless, suspicious, aggressive or scream a lot. This can simply be a cry of pain or anxiety which cannot be communicated any other way anymore. We might think the person behaves like a child. But that is not really the case. The person presents more a psychological instability.

The cause of dementia is the dying of the nerve cells. Why this is happening is still under research. Dr. Alzheimer observed that harmful proteins are deposit in the brain. Nerve cells cannot function anymore. Also glutamate as a powerful neurotransmitter that is released by nerve cells in the brain is playing a huge part and is still under research. Also acetylcholine, another neurotransmitter plays a vital role.

Today we have no remedy for dementia but we certainly can delay it.

What else can be done?

medicinal therapy
care system which provides stimulation and security
emotional attention, stroking the hand
praise not criticism
using smells like coffee connected with fond memories
exercise, nutrition and enough fluids are important

Yes and of course what else can assist is one of our oldest and dearest friends the Teddy Bear!

My mum has a favourite bear, a Charlie Bear I gave to her a long time ago. She always loved the feeling of the fur and the look, similar to our dog she adored. Now this bear reassures her and is something familiar. This bear is bringing some peace into her disruptive world.

Mum has also a very soft angel a dear friend send her. She holds on to him at night now. To purchase bears or angels please see our website BearEssentials.ie

I think I had to write this blog to come to term with my mum having dementia and also that I do live in another country and cannot be close to her all the time. If you are reading this I hope it will help you too to understand dementia slowly forgetting…..

I leave you with some images of my brave mum I took at my visit last month December 2019.